It Hurts to Become
by Jack E. Peace
Summary: "Maybe this is your parents' way of making amends. You know, finally reaching out. What better way to do that than at the wedding?"


**Disclaimer: **The characters you know do not belong to me and the title comes from author Andrea Gibson. Also the wedding venue mentioned in this story is indeed a real place and I definitely recommend using Google to look for pictures because it's pretty gorgeous.

**A/N: **So yep, here's a story. Can't seem to get enough of these two and I'm not even sorry. This is technically a sequel to my very first Aubrey and Chloe story "It's the Beat of Her Heart Saying 'Let Me Be Your Star'" but I don't think that you have to read that one to understand this one. I guess. This story is for the futillitarian, because she always ensures that I make good choices and I hope that she agrees that this is one of them. So enjoy!

**"I Said to the Sun 'Tell Me About the Big Bang' and the Sun Said 'It's Hard to Become'" **

"And then I was all like 'Holly, I don't even think that pandas are really bears.' And she was like 'how can they not be bears?' So then I said-" Chloe stops her prattling when she notices a cream colored envelope in Aubrey's hands. "What's that?" She peers over the blonde's shoulder.

Aubrey stops sorting through the mail and picks up the envelope, sticking the rest of the bills into her purse. Her name is written across the front in careful calligraphy and her parents' home address is carefully printed in the upper left hand corner. Aubrey feels the tiniest bit of dread pool in her stomach. It's been almost two years since she's had any contact with any member of her family.

"I don't know." Aubrey mumbles, tucking the envelope into her purse with the rest of the letters.

Chloe arches an eyebrow. "Aren't you going to open it?"

Shrugging, Aubrey closes and locks their little mailbox and then starts toward the elevator with Chloe following behind. "I'm sure it's nothing."

"It's from your parents." Chloe states the obvious, letting Aubrey know that a change of subject is not happening at the moment. "Aren't you curious?"

With a sigh, Aubrey punches the number for their floor. "I'm a little afraid, to be honest." She tells her girlfriend. "We haven't spoken in years. The last time I talked to my father, he told me that he never wanted to speak to me again. So, no. I'm not curious. I'm frightened."

Chloe takes Aubrey's hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze. "I'm sure it's not something horrible. I mean, why would they waste time writing you a letter if they just wanted to let you know you were a disappointment?" Aubrey gives her a look and Chloe quickly gives her an apologetic smile. "Sorry, that was supposed to be a joke. Not funny Beale."

"No, you're probably right." Aubrey mutters as they step out of the elevator and head down the hallway to their apartment. She pulls her keys out of her bag and unlocks the door. "It's just strange."

"So open it." Chloe reaches into Aubrey's bag when she sets it down on the dining room table and fishes out the envelope. "Oh, fancy. This feels like expensive paper. Oh! Is someone getting married? This feels like wedding paper."

Aubrey takes the envelope from Chloe and can't help but feel like the redhead is probably right. She kept in touch with her brother for the first few months she was in New York and he'd mentioned a girlfriend a few times. Two years would be a perfectly respectable amount of time to wait before planning a wedding; it was how long her father had waited to marry her mother, so it only makes sense that Brad would follow suit.

Aubrey opens the envelope and lo-and-behold pulls out a wedding announcement. Bradley Posen and Beverly Winstead cordially invite her to celebrate their nuptials on the 15th of May. Two weeks away. Either her invite got lost in the mail or Beverly Winstead's organization and planning skills are not on par with the rest of the Posen clan.

There's a Post-It note stuck to the front of the invite, written in practiced cursive. _I know we've never met but I'm looking forward to joining your family and calling you my sister. I hope you can make it! P.S. Rehearsal Dinner in the ballroom Friday at 6! –Beverly_. Aubrey snorts out a little laugh. Clearly Beverly does not know the term "black sheep" means.

"What?" Chloe questions and Aubrey hands the invite over to her before heading toward the bedroom to change out of her sweats and into her PJs. Yeah, the clothes she wears to her dance studio everyday aren't much different than the clothes she sleeps in. Her dad would be thrilled.

"The Post-It note was sweet." Chloe states, holding up the invite as she walks into the bedroom.

Aubrey pulls her tank top over her head and tosses it into the dirty clothes hamper. "It just proves that my family never bothers to talk about me. It's probably forbidden to even mention my name. Otherwise she'd never even bother to invite me. She must think I'm just Brad's metropolitan kid sister."

Chloe sits down on the edge of the bed. "Maybe this is your parents' way of making amends. You know, finally reaching out. What better way to do that than at the wedding?"

"I don't know Chloe." Aubrey mutters, pulling her old Bellas sweatshirt over her head. "It just doesn't seem like a good idea. I can't imagine my father giving Brad permission to invite me."

"So…what? You're just not going to go to your brother's wedding?" Chloe raises an eyebrow. "You know how stubborn your dad is. Maybe this is the only way he knows how to reach out to you."

Aubrey sighs and shakes her head. "That's just the thing. Why would he even _care_? I doubt he misses having me in his life."

Chloe gets to her feet and walks over to Aubrey, putting her hands on her shoulders. "Don't you talk like that Aubrey Posen. I absolutely will not allow it." She tells her girlfriend frankly. "If your dad doesn't miss you then that's his loss. Okay?" She gives Aubrey a stern look that doesn't disappear until Aubrey nods. "And I think you should go to the wedding. Brad is still your family."

Aubrey is still not completely sold on the idea. There are so many reasons why she should just pretend like she never got the invite and let the day pass unmarked. But there's also a part of her that suddenly feels desperate to go, to reconnect herself with her family. Her parents are a far cry from perfect, but they're still her parents and there's a part of her that feels eighteen years old again and desperate to show up at the wedding happy and successful and make them proud of her.

"Okay. But on one condition. Chloe Beale, will you be my plus one?" Aubrey questions with the tiniest hint of a smile.

Chloe grins and kisses her. "I love weddings. Wild horses couldn't keep me away."

* * *

But apparently the Great White Way can. Six months ago, the actress who played Marilyn Monroe during the night performances of _Bombshell _got knocked up by her street vendor boyfriend and was unceremoniously dismissed from the show two days after she told the producers the news. They gave her a congratulatory card but made it clear that motherhood and Broadway did not go hand-in-hand. No one was more surprised than Chloe when they tapped her to move from the daytime shows to the evening shows three nights out of the week, with the first girl's understudy taking the other three (the show hasn't played a Sunday since opening weekend). Chloe has had no complaints about garnering even more attention on Broadway by moving to the nighttime performances. Until now, of course, because apparently Sasha, the second Marilyn, doesn't work Fridays and "I know you wanted the weekend off Chloe but you're just going to have to settle for Saturday and Sunday." Of course, this statement is said by her director in a tone that suggests that she's not really all that sorry and if Chloe really wants that Friday off she can take it but when she gets back to New York she'll be unemployed. The wedding is Saturday afternoon so Chloe can technically still make it but she's always had bad luck with airplanes and can definitely see her flight getting delayed for fifteen hours for some stupid reason while Aubrey is back in Atlanta suffering through her family reunion alone.

"Maybe this is a sign." Aubrey mutters as she absently stirs the pasta on the stove. "This is the universe's way to telling me not to go."

Chloe shakes her head. "No, this is just my director being a bitch." She protests. "There's a flight at three in the morning. I'll take that one to guarantee that nothing goes wrong."

"I'll just wait and take that flight too." Aubrey looks at her girlfriend with a hopeful expression on her face. "We'll still make it in time for the wedding. Who cares about the rehearsal dinner."

"Bree, you should go." Chloe says. "It'll give you the chance to see Brad and your parents without the stress of the wedding and all the other guests."

Aubrey opens her mouth to respond but then thinks better of it and shakes her head with a sigh. She goes back to jabbing at the boiling pasta for a few seconds before putting down the spoon and turning to face Chloe once more. "I think this is a bad idea." She tells the other girl. "I don't want to do this. Especially not without you."

Chloe steps into the kitchen and slides her arms around Aubrey's waist, leaning her forehead against Aubrey's. "You can do this."

"You're right." Aubrey hopes that forcing conviction into her voice will make her feel more sure of herself. "I can do this. I'm happy here, I'm successful, I have everything that I've ever wanted. I can do this." She has the feeling that those words are going to quickly become her mantra over the next few days.

Chloe smiles and nods. "Exactly." She kisses Aubrey on the tip of her nose. "And I'll be there on Saturday and Sunday we'll visit my parents and it'll be a great weekend. Right?"

Chloe definitely has a way of making everything sound so easy and Aubrey finds that idea that everything is going to be fine and go off without a hitch a little intoxicating. As much as she doubts that it will be a reality, she likes the idea that her parents want to make amends and that this will just be her first of many trips back to Atlanta to visit with her family. Maybe absence really does make the heart grow fonder.

Aubrey kisses Chloe. "Right."

She hopes.

* * *

Chloe sees Aubrey off at the airport even though the blonde insists that she's perfectly capable of taking the subway to the airport by herself. In truth, she's relieved that she has Chloe there beside her, even if it's just for a few minutes outside the security checkpoint. She hugs Chloe a little too tightly because she's absolutely terrified of what's going to happen when she walks into the rehearsal dinner. Aubrey feels like she's done a pretty good job of keeping her anxiety to herself over the past few days, not only because she doesn't want Chloe to know how worried she is but also in hopes that she'd even be able to hid it from herself. Unfortunately, the latter definitely did not happen.

"I'll see you soon." Chloe assures Aubrey when they finally separate. "Bright and early tomorrow morning."

Aubrey nods, picking up her carryon bag and slipping the strap over her shoulder. "I love you." She blows the redhead a kiss. "Knock 'em dead tonight."

Chloe winks. "You too."

Aubrey Posen might never have been on Broadway, but she can't help but feel like it's probably a lot less intimidating than having to face Marc and Gwen Posen.

* * *

Aubrey's flight lands at Hartsfield-Jackson forty-five minutes shy of six o'clock. She's never been the type of push things to the last minute and always prefers to be early than right on time. Unfortunately the flight schedule today left her with little choice and, to be honest, she's a little relieved that she has something else to focus on aside from anticipating seeing her family again for the first time in two years. Research of the address on the wedding invitation told Aubrey that the venue Beverly had chosen for the wedding and rehearsal dinner was pretty much like a medieval castle dropped right in the middle of Peachtree Street. Not that Aubrey would expect anything less; a simple church or outdoor wedding would never suffice for the Posens or any person they were letting into their family. The venue isn't far from the airport but Friday evening rush-hour traffic makes getting from point A to point B an impossibility and Aubrey sits in the back of the taxi anxiously tapping her foot and staring out the window. She's trying to practice the yogi breathing that her teacher is always talking about in the class she takes once a week but it doesn't seem to be helping. She's going to be late and there's nothing she can do about it.

Throughout the entire nerve-wracking experience, Chloe tries to help her relax via text-message but it's just not the same as actually having her sitting in the back of the taxi with her. Aubrey tries not to let that get to her either because it's not like Chloe just blew her off. She had to work, she had to honor her commitments and no one understands that more than Aubrey. But she's unfortunately at the point where everything is making her upset so she eventually just stops texting Chloe so that she keeps from sending a message that she later regrets.

When the taxi finally pulls up in front of the venue, Aubrey's fifteen minutes late, which is definitely a first in her life. She can't remember a time that she's ever been late for anything. She pays the driver and grabs her bag and jogs toward the front of the venue, slowing her pace to a brisk walk as she steps into the lobby. She's glad that she thought to wear something at least presentable for her flight, even if her skirt and blouse are a little wrinkled by this point.

Aubrey runs her fingers through her hair as she walks to the front desk. "I'm here for the Posen/Winstead rehearsal dinner." She informs the smartly dressed woman behind the desk. "Is it through there?" She points to a pair of oaken double doors. "And do you mind if I leave this with you? I'll grab it on the way out." Aubrey hands over her carryon bag. "Thank you so much."

The woman looks surprised. "Uh…sure. Ma'am, I just need to-"

"I'm sorry but I'm already late." Aubrey apologizes, moving away from the desk and toward the ballroom. "Thanks, sorry."

The woman tries to get her attention again but Aubrey decides to ignore her rather than risk being any later. She hopes that she can just slip into the rehearsal dinner without interrupting anything and then go through all the pleasantries and family reunion stuff before the dinner itself. Until then she'll just take her seat in the back, preferably out of anyone's line of sight.

The plan probably would have gone off just fine if the door hadn't creaked when Aubrey pulled it open. The priest doesn't pause as he walks Brad and his soon-to-be-wife through the ceremony but both sets of parents turn toward the door and Aubrey meets her father's gaze and feels a little bit like a deer in the headlights. Or a bug right before its pinned to the display board.

Marc's eyes narrow and he gets to his feet. "Aubrey." It's not exactly a welcoming tone in his voice. The priest finally stops and even Brad and Beverly turn to see what's going on. "What the hell are you doing here?"

This is around the time that Aubrey realizes that maybe this wasn't some sort of attempt made by her parents to reconcile their differences and start building a relationship for the future. Maybe they had no idea that she was coming at all.

"I invited her." Beverly chimes in, moving away from her place in front of Brad and taking a step toward Marc and the rest of her family.

Marc doesn't even acknowledge Beverly. He keeps his murderous gaze fixed on his daughter and Aubrey really wishes that she could do something, even if that something is turning and running back out the front door. But she just keeps standing there, her gaze shifting from her father to her mother and back again. Her mother looks surprised but less angry but, unfortunately, she's not exactly rushing to welcome her daughter back.

Finally, Aubrey manages to spur herself into action. She takes a step toward the door. "I…I'm sorry…" Two years later and she still reverts to being the decorous daughter when faced with her father's wrath. "I'll just…"

"No, don't go!" Beverly protests, hurrying down the aisle toward where Aubrey is standing. "Stay, please." She takes the blonde's hands in her own and tugs her away from the door. "You have to stay. We're going to be family soon, we should all be together." She says cheerfully, looking back toward Marc and giving him a smile. "Right?"

Marc doesn't respond. Instead he just sits back down and Beverly looks at Aubrey and grins triumphantly. Aubrey wants to tell the girl that she's being stupid and short-sighted. She didn't win this argument; no one wins an argument against Marc Posen. He's just not going to make a public spectacle of re-banishing and/or just killing his wayward daughter. That will come later.

But Aubrey still lets Beverly steer her into a seat (wisely on the opposite side of where Marc and Gwen are seated) and she sits there and listens without really hearing as Brad and Beverly run through their vows and go through the motions of getting married. She wishes that she was back in New York, walking with Chloe down to the theatre and then waiting (albeit a bit impatiently) for the show to finish so she could fall asleep next to her girlfriend. She never should have come. She should have known that she wouldn't be welcome. Aubrey has never felt more unwelcome in a place in her entire life and she went to a private, all-girls school.

It's a relief when the rehearsal is finally over. Aubrey has made up her mind by this point that she's grabbing a cab and going right back to the airport but before she can take out her phone and text Chloe the change in plans, Beverly is at her side once more, pulling her into an enthusiastic hug. Really, Aubrey has no idea how someone like this has fit in with Brad and the rest of the Posen clan. She's hard pressed to remember a time when she was ever hugged by her parents.

"I'm so glad that you came." Beverly assures her, smiling genuinely and Aubrey doesn't say anything because any words that came out of her mouth at this moment would just be a lie. "I was worried when I didn't hear from you. I thought I might have got your address wrong or something." Beverly is short, like Beca Mitchell short, and blonde and talks like the housewives from _The Help_. Definitely a Southern debutante fit for the Old South.

"Uh…no I…thank you for inviting me." Aubrey says because she can't think of anything else.

Beverly links their elbows together. "Of course. You're going to be my sister." She gives an excited little squeal. "I've always wanted to have a sister. Come on, you can ride back to the house with me and Brad. You didn't drive right? When did your flight get in?" Beverly keeps prattling on as she leads Aubrey out of the rehearsal space.

Aubrey glances over her shoulder and isn't surprised to find her father's eyes already on her. His expression matches the one he had on his face when she told him that she was leaving the law firm and following Chloe to New York. Two years have clearly not reduced his anger. Aubrey realizes that she was stupid to think otherwise.

Beverly continues to talk during the drive back to the Posen household, which saves the car ride from being taken in awkward silence. Brad has done little to acknowledge her presence, which doesn't exactly surprise Aubrey. Brad has his moments but for the most part, he's a copy of their father and has always been more concerned about letting him down because he didn't know what it felt like to disappoint their father. Aubrey used to envy her brother for being the golden child; she'd long suspected that Marc had wished that she'd been born a boy too. Aubrey Posen: a disappointment since conception.

It's been years since Aubrey set foot in her childhood home but everything feels exactly the same. Everything is still neatly arranged, coordinated and cleaned and the only differences that Aubrey sees right away are the pictures on the wall. There are none of her. She really wants to stop Beverly's chattering long enough to ask if the girl knows what the word "ex-communicated" means.

The dinner appears to be for more than just the wedding party and the house quickly fills with guests and cousins from both sides and Aubrey finds herself avoiding the knowing looks of family members she hasn't seen in years. Clearly it's only Beverly who doesn't know that she's been kicked off the Posen family tree.

Beverly circulates but doesn't let Aubrey disappear like she continuously tries to do. It's like she has a sixth sense for that sort of thing; every time Aubrey nearly makes it out the front door, there's Beverly, still chatting happily.

"You know you were allowed to bring a plus one, right?" Beverly questions as she tops off her wine glass. "Your boyfriend couldn't make it?"

Clearly Marc has kept their last encounter close to the vest. "Oh, well, no, I…my girlfriend had to work tonight but she's flying in tomorrow."

Beverly smiles. "Great. The more the merrier." Someone calls her name from across the room and she vanishes once again.

Aubrey sighs and figures that if she's not going to be getting out of here anytime soon she might as well figure out where to get some of that wine that Beverly had. She starts toward the kitchen but stops in the foyer when she realizes that the space is unoccupied aside from Marc and Brad. Aubrey hasn't seen her father since leaving the venue and her suspicions that he'd been avoiding her are confirmed.

"Did you know about this?" Marc questions, his voice laced with barely controlled anger. Brad mumbles something in response and Marc's expression only grows angrier, even though Aubrey hadn't thought that possible. "I'm not sure which would be worse. The fact that you let Beverly invite her or the fact that you had absolutely no idea what your future wife was planning."

Brad sighs. "With all due respect, sir, I think that-"

"I don't need your opinion." Marc interrupts. Aubrey is far too familiar with that tone of voice but she can't remember ever hearing her father raise his voice at Brad. "I told you that all contact with your sister was to cease. She is a disgrace and a disappointment. She has no business being here."

Aubrey really doesn't need to hear anymore. She turns and leaves before either of them can realize that she's standing there, not that she thinks it would do much to alter their conversation. She grabs her purse and yanks open the front door, stepping outside before Beverly can swoop in and usher her back into the house.

But Beverly is still, somehow, right on her tail. "Where are you going?" She questions, her lilting voice still overly cheerful. "We haven't even done cake yet and-"

Aubrey turns around to face the girl. "Look, I really appreciate whatever it is that you're trying to do here but are you really that dense or do you just enjoy stirring up trouble?" She questions, tilting her head to the side as she regards the blonde in front of her. "I just have to know."

Beverly sighs and purses her lips. "I'd like to think neither." She remarks.

"You had to have realized that my relationship with my family is pretty much shit. I'm honestly not even sure how you found out about me in the first place. It looks like they've done a pretty good job of erasing my presence completely." Aubrey gestures back toward the house.

"I saw old pictures of you and Brad together and asked him about you." Beverly confesses. "He told me that you and your father weren't on the best of terms and that you moved to New York a few years ago. Brad either didn't know what happened between you and your dad or he just wouldn't tell me." She shrugs. "I thought that now would be the perfect time to put all those stupid arguments aside. Your father can be a stubborn person, I'm sure he just didn't know how to apologize."

Aubrey scoffs and rolls her eyes. "You obviously don't know my father that well. He never apologizes. Especially not to me."

"Aubrey, tomorrow is my wedding. I really want all of my family to be there, including you." Beverly tells her sincerely. "Please stay. I mean you already said your girlfriend was planning on flying down and…you're going to be my sister-in-law." She gives her a hopeful smile. "Please?"

With a sigh, Aubrey's gaze flicks toward the house. "There's no way my father is going to let me-"

Beverly waves a dismissive hand. "I'm the bride. I'm supposed to get what I want." She tells her, crossing her arms over her chest. Aubrey hesitates and Beverly arches an eyebrow. "Do you really want to miss your own brother's wedding?"

Once again, Aubrey sighs. Of course she doesn't want to miss her older brother getting married; even if she and Brad had never been particularly close, he's the closest thing she's ever had to an ally in the Posen household and he's still her brother, in spite of all of the faults in their relationship. She wants to be there for his wedding, even if that's the last thing that her father wants.

"Then it's settled." Beverly clearly takes her silence as surrender. "You'll be there tomorrow. I'm glad, Aubrey."

Aubrey wishes that she could say she sincerely felt the same.

* * *

Aubrey checks into her hotel and has the front desk arrange for the taxi that will take her to the airport in the morning to pick up Chloe. They're going to rent a car tomorrow after the wedding so they can drive to visit Chloe's parents but until then she's stuck sitting in the backseat of questionably sanitary taxis. She showers and changes into more comfortable clothes and lays down in the comfortably large bed but finds herself staring up at the ceiling instead of drifting off to sleep. She has that familiar acidy taste in her mouth, which only intensifies as she thinks about her father and their last conversation and how he did little to hide his feelings toward her today. She should have known better. She should have known that he would never agree to having her here. Aubrey feels like an idiot, mostly because she actually thought that maybe things would be okay between them after all.

For most of the night, Aubrey tosses and turns and drifts between sleep and waking. She's awake when Chloe sends her a text to let her know that she's actually about to board (_no delays, can you believe it_?) and she misses her girlfriend with an intensity that she never thought possible before. Not having Chloe with her just doesn't feel right.

Chloe looks exhausted when she stumbles outside to meet Aubrey and lays her head on Aubrey's shoulder as they drive back to the hotel. "What time is the wedding?" She questions as they walk down the hallway toward Aubrey's room.

"Three." Aubrey tells her, sliding the key card into the lock and holding the door open for her girlfriend.

"Oh good. We can sleep til two and then get ready." Chloe gives Aubrey a tired smile as she kicks off her shoes and takes off her cardigan, tossing it on top of her suitcase.

Aubrey goes to pull the curtains closed tightly to keep out the light of the rising sun. "We can't risk being late."

"Fine, then one thirty." Chloe climbs into bed without another word and exhales deeply. "I feel like I haven't slept in days."

Aubrey doesn't hesitate to climb into bed beside her girlfriend, wrapping her arms around Chloe and resting her chin on her shoulder. "I couldn't sleep either."

"You needed me there, I know, it's okay." Chloe says with a tired smile.

Aubrey rolls her eyes but there's a smile on her face as well. "Yes, you're right. I needed someone here to steal the covers and fail to respect my personal space even though there's plenty of room for both of us."

"Oh whatever. When are you going to admit that _you're_ the cuddler, not me?" Chloe questions, shaking her head.

"Humph. I've never heard you complaining before." Aubrey retorts. This is good, this is normal. This is what she's wanted ever since she landed in Atlanta. Someone who loves her, someone who thinks that the love she has to give is good enough. This easy closeness that she's never shared with anyone but Chloe.

For a moment, they are both silent. Aubrey is exhausted but she still can't bring herself to close her eyes, even curled around Chloe. "My parents didn't know I was coming." She says softly into the quiet of the room. "My father never wanted to see me."

Aubrey thinks that Chloe might have fallen asleep already and maybe that's okay anyway, maybe it's okay that she didn't hear but then Chloe shifts so they're face to face and there's barely an inch between them.

"We don't have to stay." Chloe says and her previous conviction that they have to go to the wedding no matter what is gone. "We can just go see my parents. Or just stay here all weekend."

"I know." Aubrey agrees softly. "It's important to Beverly that I go."

"What do _you_ want to do?" Chloe questions. "It doesn't always have to be about other people, Bree."

This is something that Aubrey has been struggling to come to terms with over the past few years. That sometimes the only person who matters is herself. Unfortunately that can sometimes be even more difficult than letting someone else tell her what to do and how to act and what to accomplish.

"Brad is still my brother." Aubrey says after a moment. "I want to go. I want to be there when he gets married."

Chloe nods and slips her hand around the curve of Aubrey's neck. "Okay, so we'll go."

Aubrey moves closer to Chloe and the redhead puts her arms around her. They fall asleep that way, tangled together while the rest of the world wakes just outside the window.

* * *

They make it to Rhodes Hall with fifteen minutes to spare, in spite of the fact that Aubrey had to practically drag Chloe out of bed and forcibly deposit her in the shower. Chloe has never been a morning person, even when morning happens to be twelve thirty in the afternoon.

Chloe lets out a whistle when she sees the venue. "Holy cow. This place is like a castle. How did I never know that this was here?" She runs her fingers along the weathered brick façade as they walk inside. "We should totes get married in a place like this."

"It's a little flashy, don't you think?" Aubrey questions, humoring Chloe and her topic of conversation. It's not the first time they've talked about getting married but unfortunately that's all they've been able to do at this point: talk. Maybe in the future they'll actually be able to plan their own wedding but for now Aubrey is fine with how things are. A marriage certificate can't possibly make her love Chloe any more.

"No, we should totally get married in a castle." Chloe decrees. "My dad always said that I was a princess."

Aubrey laughs and shakes her head. "Okay, fine. A castle it is." She slips her hand into Chloe and gives it a gentle squeeze. "I'm glad you're here." She hasn't thought about seeing her parents or the disappointment on her father's face since they pulled up outside.

Chloe beams at her. "Of course. Where else would I be?"

As they take their seats (making what Aubrey considers is the wise decision to sit closer to the back with the rest of the extended family and less-than-close-friends), she sees her father. He's in the middle of a conversation with Beverly's parents but it's almost like he feels her eyes on him because he turns his head and meets her gaze. He squares his jaw when he sees her but he looks even more angry when he sees Chloe sitting next to her. Aubrey really hopes that her dad's penchant for keeping up appearances is stronger than his hatred toward her.

Aubrey's previous good mood is gone like it was never there and even listening to Chloe talk in an effort to distract her doesn't make her feel better. "I talked to my mom while you were in the shower and she said that my dad will grill if we want to try and make it there for dinner." Chloe says. "So we don't even have to stay after the wedding if you don't want to."

Aubrey nods absently. "Yeah, that sounds nice." She mumbles. She wonders what would be worse: leaving right after the ceremony or sticking around when it's obvious that her father doesn't want her here.

The ceremony is nice, a little long-winded for Aubrey's taste but still nice. She's pretty sure that she wouldn't want someone to describe her wedding vows and ceremony as 'nice.' She wants sweet or romantic or personal and passionate. She wonders when she became the type of person who traded dignified and nice for unpredictable and romantic. What would Marc say?

The reception is being held outside because the May weather has yet to turn into the wilting, humid heat of summer and it's clear that the Winstead family spared no expense when it came to the budget. Even the napkins look expensive.

And, most importantly, there's an open bar and Aubrey doesn't protest when Chloe suggests they get a drink while they decide if they want to stay and mingle. So far, there's been no sign of Marc or Gwen, so Aubrey feels herself relax slightly even though she knows that it's not going to last. They'll have to show up eventually.

Chloe's easygoing and bubbly personality makes it easy for them to start chatting with members of Beverly's family, though Aubrey's focus is only half on the conversation going on around her because she keeps scanning the crowd of people looking for her father. She's sure that he's going to keep his distance but she doesn't want to be caught off guard if he does decide to come over and say something to her.

Beverly eventually makes her way over and pulls Aubrey into a big hug, squeezing her tight enough to drive the air out of her lungs. "I'm so glad that you came!" She releases Aubrey and turns her attention to Chloe. "Hi, I'm Beverly. You must be Aubrey's girlfriend." Chloe introduces herself and Aubrey isn't the least bit surprised when they both hug as well. She has the feeling that, given the chance, Chloe and Beverly would become good friends.

"Well, it means so much that you're both here." Beverly says with sincerity. "Thank you for coming."

Aubrey manages a smile and a nod. "Of course. My big brother only gets married once."

"We can hope, right?" Beverly says with a smile and a wink. "I've got to mingle but I'll definitely see you two around, okay? Have fun!"

Beverly disappears as quickly as she came and Chloe smiles at Aubrey. "She seems nice. Different than the type of person I would imagine for your brother, based on what you've told me about him."

Aubrey nods in agreement. "Well, I guess opposites attract." She realizes that the same could definitely be said about her and Chloe. She and Brad have both chosen people who are pretty much the opposite of their parents and their upbringing. Maybe Brad wasn't as content with being the golden child as Aubrey had always assumed.

They decide to stay for a little longer before heading back to the hotel and then driving to Chloe's parents. This is, of course, the first mistake; the second being that Aubrey feels herself slowly start to relax as she continues to mingle with the guests and talk with Chloe and keeping an eye out for her father starts to become a little less important.

Aubrey volunteers to go to the bar and refresh their drinks and leaves Chloe talking with Beverly's second cousins or second-grade friend or something. She gives her order to the bar tender and as he turns to start making the drinks she feels someone grab her upper arm and she turns to face her father.

"You have a lot of audacity." Marc informs her, his voice low so that the other guests can't overhear. "I thought I made myself perfectly clear when I said that I never wanted to see you again."

"I'm not here for you. I came to see my big brother get married."

It's tough to say who is more surprised by her response or the tone of her voice. Aubrey is pretty sure that she's never dared talk back to her father before and judging by the surprised expression that crosses over Marc's face she's probably right in that assumption. Unfortunately his surprise only lasts so long and is quickly replaced by fury.

"How are you speak to me that way? I am your father." Marc hisses at her.

Aubrey pulls her arm out of his grasp. "Really? I thought that might have changed when you told me that you never wanted to see me again. Or when you erased any trace of me from the house. Or refused to let my own brother invite me to his wedding."

Marc takes a step toward her and Aubrey takes a reflexive step backward, which was no doubt his intention. Marc has always been the type to control through intimidation when all else fails.

"You need to leave. Now." Marc tells her, his tone leaving no room for argument. "You have embarrassed me enough just by being here. Showing up with another woman has only made things worse. You disgust me."

Aubrey stiffens at his words. "I'm happy." She says, as if that might somehow make a difference.

Marc scoffs. "Happy? With _her_? That girl is a nothing, a nobody. You could have done great things; you could have been a partner in a law firm, you could have married someone known and respected. Instead you throw all of that away for nothing."

Aubrey narrows her eyes. "Don't ever talk about Chloe like that again." This time, she's the one who takes a step toward him. Her father, of course, does not back down. "You can say what you want about me. I've already heard it all, you've never made your feelings about me secret. But don't _ever_ talk about Chloe. Ever."

By this point, they've attracted their fair share of onlookers but Aubrey can hardly bring herself to care. She steps past her father and when he reaches out to grab hold of her once more, she pulls her arm out of his reach. "Aubrey, stop." He barks. "I'm not finished."

She turns back to face him. "Yes, you are. What else do you possibly have to say that you haven't been saying to me since the day I was born? I'm sorry that I'll never make you proud and that I'm nothing but a disappointment. But the day that you told me that you never wanted to see me again was the day that I stopped caring what you thought about me. And you know what? It's been amazing. You have no idea how happy I am. I live in a shitty apartment in New York City and I teach dance to little kids and I am madly in love with my girlfriend and I'm happy! You aren't going to take that away from me anymore. You aren't going to make me hate myself anymore. You have never been there for me. You've done nothing but teach me how to tear myself down. You never want to see me again? Fine. _I'm _finished."

Aubrey keeps her head high as she walks past her father and the rest of the gaping wedding guests and back toward the front of the hotel. She's definitely outstayed her welcome by this point. She walks through the lobby and sits down on the curb, not caring that it's probably filthy and she's probably ruining her dress.

Moments later, someone comes and sits down beside her. Someone who doesn't care that the curb is probably filthy and that she's probably ruining her dress. Someone who reaches over and links their pinkies together, just like she used to do when they were younger and back at Barden.

They sit in silence for a few moments and Aubrey focuses on slowing her breathing and letting the tension and anger drain out of her. She lays her head on Chloe's shoulder and Chloe slips her arm around her waist. "Let's go." Chloe says softly. "Let's just go back to the hotel and order room service and stay in bed watching stupid movies."

"No, let's go to your parents." Aubrey gets to her feet and holds her hand out to help Chloe up. "He's not going to ruin that too."

They don't say much during the ride back to the hotel or as they finish packing up their stuff or pick up their rental car. Chloe knows Aubrey well enough to know that if she wanted to talk, she would. If she had to guess, she'd say that it all hasn't sunk in yet and Aubrey might not even be fully aware of what she's done. _You were amazing_, Chloe wants to say, but she's not sure that now is that time.

So she just gets behind the wheel of the car and lets Aubrey pick the radio station and have her silence, if that's what she wants. But Chloe does look over at her girlfriend and reaches over to take her hand. "I'm madly in love with you too."

Aubrey looks at her and smiles and Chloe thinks maybe this will all be okay after all.

* * *

The next week, Marc Posen is dead.

Brad calls to give Aubrey the news as she's closing up the studio and getting ready to head home for the evening. Massive heart attack. It happened while he was at work and he was dead before the ambulance even got to the hospital. He doesn't have many more details to offer other than that, but he promises that he'll keep her up to date. He and Beverly are already cutting their honeymoon short in order to fly back to Atlanta but he doesn't suggest that Aubrey does the same thing. "I'll let you know more as soon as I do." Brad tells her. There's a pause and he adds, "I'm sorry, Aubrey." Like it wasn't his father too.

"Yeah. Me too." Aubrey says as she hangs up. She stands for a minute in the empty lobby of her studio, staring down at the keys in her hand. She waits to feel something, to be sad or upset or confused or angry or anything. But she just feels tired, the way that she always does after a day of teaching dance to the uncoordinated and enthusiastic.

Aubrey heads back to the apartment and checks the mail and says hello to the neighbors she passes in the hall and does everything she would any other day and still waits to feel something. The apartment is empty and she remembers that this is one of Chloe's performance days and that makes Aubrey feel more depressed than anything thus far. She could have really used someone to cuddle with and eat dinner with and a reason to make her say the words out loud. _My father is dead_. It doesn't seem real when it's just in her head.

Aubrey doesn't feel much like making dinner or finding something nonsensical to watch on TV so she just showers and changes into a tank top and shorts and gets into bed. She's still laying awake and staring at the ceiling when she hears the lock click open on the front door and hears Chloe walk inside. In spite of Chloe's repeated efforts to be as quiet as possible on the off-chance that Aubrey is asleep, she's never quite managed the art of silence. She almost always drops her keys or bumps into something and Aubrey finds it more comical than anything else.

Chloe eases open the bedroom door and pokes her head in, smiling when she sees Aubrey still awake. "Honey I'm home." She slips off her shoes and drops her purse onto the floor. "What's the matter?" It takes her all of five seconds to sense that something is most definitely not right.

Aubrey doesn't respond. She's not sure how to find the words. She keeps tracing the fine lines on the ceiling with her eyes and tries to will herself into responding to Chloe. The mattress creaks as Chloe comes to sit down beside her. "Bree? What happened?" Chloe reaches out and brushes a lock of hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear.

"My father died." Aubrey says, pushing herself into a sitting position, leaning against the headboard. "He had a heart attack."

Chloe's eyes go wide at the news. "Oh my gosh. Today?" Aubrey nods. Chloe wraps her arms around Aubrey, tucking her against her chest. "Bree." She kisses the side of her face. "How are you?"

"I don't know." Aubrey admits. "I don't know how I feel."

Chloe takes Aubrey's face in her hands and traces the curve of her cheek with her thumb. Aubrey can see the uncertainty in Chloe's face and she doesn't blame her girlfriend. She wouldn't know how to proceed in this situation either. But Chloe does a pretty good job when she just leans forward and kisses her softly, pressing their foreheads together.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Chloe questions softly, their faces still together.

"I don't know what to say." Aubrey admits. Over the past few hours she's been trying to think of something that can summarize how she's feeling but she hasn't been able to come up with anything.

Chloe nods, understanding, and kisses her once more. "Have you eaten?" Aubrey shakes her head. "Of course not. Who takes care of you when I'm on stage?" She teases, having decided that the best thing to do in this situation is make things as normal as possible. Until Aubrey seems to need something different, that's all she knows to do.

Aubrey lets Chloe pull her out of bed and into the kitchen, watching as her girlfriend proceeds to start cooking stir-fry in spite of the late hour. Her stomach starts to rumble at the smell of the food and she wonders if she's a horrible person because she's hungry and her father is dead.

They eat standing in the kitchen, a habit that Chloe has managed to instill in Aubrey in spite of her previous protests that they should always try and sit down and eat like normal people. Chloe doesn't try to push Aubrey into talking or fill the silence herself; she just lets the quiet sit there between them and Aubrey is grateful. It's not like she doesn't want to hear about Chloe's day she just…wants the quiet.

"I should be crying right?" Aubrey questions abruptly as she puts her plate in the dishwasher. "I mean, that's what normal people would do. I should be crying. My father died."

Chloe turns to face her. "I think you shouldn't try to feel a certain way. I mean, your relationship with your dad was…complicated." She shrugs. "I think you should just feel what you feel." It sounds stupid, even to her own ears, but she has no idea what to say right now. What do you say to someone whose asshole father has just died?

Aubrey shakes her head. "I just keep thinking about last week. All of those things I said to him…" She purses her lips. "Those were the last things I ever said to him."

For lack of anything better to do, Chloe puts her arms around Aubrey and strokes her hair. "You can't feel bad for finally telling him how you feel." She says softly. "You can't regret that. You'd always be wondering if things would have been different if you'd finally stood up to him."

Aubrey pulls away. "Well, instead I'll always be wondering what would have happened if I'd never gone." She shakes her head. "I never should have gone. I should have apologized or-"

"Seriously, Bree. You can't want to apologize for finally standing up to your father." Chloe interrupts, giving her a slightly incredulous look.

Aubrey narrows her eyes. "I thought that I was supposed to just feel what I'm feeling." She repeats Chloe's words back to her, her tone slightly sarcastic. "And right now I'm feeling like a pretty shitty person."

She walks out of the kitchen and retreats to the bedroom, where she promptly climbs into bed and pulls the covers over her head. She ignores Chloe when she climbs into bed beside her and tries to talk her out from underneath the covers. Aubrey appreciates that Chloe gives up quickly and gives her her space because she's not even sure what she would say if she tried to talk to Chloe right now. She's not sure that there really is anything to say right now.

For the first time in a long time, they spend the night with their backs to one another and Aubrey's pretty sure that she doesn't sleep a wink. She feels like an even worse daughter because she feels more upset about how things are with Chloe right now than the fact that her father is dead. Well, she already knows that she's a disappointment so why bother keeping score anymore?

She finally manages to sleep for more than ten minutes just as the sun is starting to come up and when Aubrey wakes up again she finds the bed beside her is empty. She looks at the clock and mutters a curse to herself; she should have been at the studio thirty minutes ago. She knows that she can trust the other teachers to handle the studio until she gets there but she hates being late.

Aubrey casts one final look at the empty bed before getting up and heading into the living room. She's surprised to see Chloe standing in the kitchen sliding pancakes onto a plate. Chloe looks disappointed when she turns around and sees her standing there. "I was going to bring you breakfast in bed." She pouts. "To apologize for last night. You're right, I shouldn't have tried to tell you how to feel. About any of it. I can't even imagine how you're feeling right now and I just…I'm here if you need me. Okay?" She gives Aubrey a hopeful smile.

"Silly." Aubrey rolls her eyes. "I always need you." She puts her arms around Chloe and kisses the side of her neck. "You're sweet for making me breakfast."

"Some of them burned." Chloe wrinkles her nose. "You could probably scrap that part off."

Aubrey rolls her eyes. "Just when I worried you were getting _too_ domestic, Chloe Beale."

Chloe kisses her and it's a nice distraction from the tumultuous feelings that she's been experiencing since Brad's phone call. Aubrey knows that the distraction isn't going to last for long, but she's going to enjoy it while she can.

* * *

Two days later, they're back in Atlanta, dressed for a funeral this time instead of a wedding. Aubrey sits between Brad and Chloe in the pew behind her mother and grandparents and can't bring herself to meet the eyes of her family members for fear that she'll see them looking at her with the same judgment that she sees in her own eyes when she looks in the mirror. She knows that it's stupid to think that she could possibly have in someway caused her father's heart attack but that little voice in the back of her mind has been nagging her for days, making her wonder if things might have been different if she'd never come to the wedding. Or if she'd never yelled at her father or if she'd left on Friday instead of insisting that she stay. Aubrey had always hoped for the day that her father would tell her that he was proud of her or when he'd finally accept her for the person she was. Now that's never going to happen and she can't stop replaying their last encounter over and over in her mind.

Aubrey catches her mother's eye across the living room when they're back at the Posen household for the wake and her mother looks like she's going to go over to where her daughter is standing and finally acknowledge her presence but in the end, Gwen just turns her head away and continues talking with some of Marc's coworkers. Aubrey and Chloe leave pretty soon after that.

* * *

Back in New York, Aubrey tries to fall back into the regular routine of things. She tries to come to terms with all the things that she said to her father and the things she didn't and the fact that no amount of wishing that she had done things differently will ever change what actually happened. Aubrey isn't good with regrets; she tries not to have them, mainly because that involves admitting that she did something wrong. And Aubrey hates mistakes. Clearly she is still going to be her father's daughter, regardless of how she tries to separate herself from her upbringing.

"I shouldn't still want his praise right?" Aubrey questions one night as she combs her hair after getting out of the shower. "I mean, there's no point now but I just…I wanted…" She shakes her head. "It's stupid."

Chloe shakes her head. "It's not stupid, Bree." She says softly. "I'm sorry that your dad was never able to see how amazing you were."

Aubrey sighs and sets the comb down on the sink. "It doesn't matter now."

And it doesn't, because her father is gone and that's that. She's never been the type to dwell on situations she can't change. Except for now, obviously. She carries her regret and longing with her all the time, unable to shake it in spite of her best efforts. She goes to work and comes home and spends time with Chloe but sometimes it almost feels like going through the motions. She knows this is normal, that this is all part of the process, but she's really ready for the process to be over.

* * *

Days eventually turn to weeks and things are the same as they ever were. Aubrey goes to the studio and teaches her classes and she goes grocery shopping with Chloe and fills her time with all the things that she enjoyed doing when her father was still alive. Aubrey starts to feel more like herself again, she starts to smile more easily and spends less time thinking about her father and their final conversation. She spends less time regretting the things she said to him and finally standing up to him and she's almost satisfied with the idea that if given the chance, she'd do it all the same way again. Because the truth of what she said hasn't changed: she is happy in New York. She's happy with her studio and happy with Chloe and even if those things would never have been good enough for her father, they're good enough for her.

One evening, Aubrey is finishing up some paperwork at the studio after the place has emptied of students and teachers. She could easily take this stuff home and do it in her PJs on her couch with a glass of wine but Chloe has a show tonight and she doesn't really feel like lugging all the paperwork home with her. So sitting at the reception desk with a bottle of water will have to do.

She's almost finished with the final form when she hears the front door creak open. "Oh, I'm sorry, we're closed." Aubrey apologizes as she lifts her head.

To say that she's shocked to see her mother standing there is a bit of an understatement. "Mother?" Aubrey gets to her feet, stepping out from around the side of the desk. "What are you doing here? How did you find me?"

Gwen gives her a little smile and shrugs, looking incredibly out of place. Aubrey's not sure if it's the uncertain look on her face or the fact that she's standing here, in New York, in the lobby of Aubrey's dance studio that gives her that appearance. "I…I actually Googled you. It wasn't hard to find the address, your little studio seems to be quite successful."

"Thank you." Aubrey says diplomatically. "What are you doing here?" Her tone is less polite this time and most definitely curious.

"I…" Gwen clasps and unclasps her hands. "I came to see you. I feel like there's a lot that we need to say to each other. Well, a lot that I need to say to you." She amends.

Aubrey isn't entirely sure what to make of this. She and her mother have never been close; she'd always seen Gwen as Marc wife instead of her own mother, mostly because she could never be counted on as an ally in any situation. Even though Gwen was by no means a weak woman, she tended to always follow along with her husband's wishes and Aubrey had never understand whether that was because she agreed with Marc or she just didn't want to make waves.

There's a part of Aubrey that worries that Gwen might have come all this way just to say all of the things that Marc probably wished that he'd thought to say to Aubrey before he died. But she still crosses her arms over her chest and says, "Okay" in spite of the trepidation that she's feeling.

Gwen takes a deep breath and Aubrey can't get over how nervous her mother looks. Or how old and tired. It's hard to align this woman with the composed and dignified woman that she grew up with.

"I'm sorry Aubrey. I know that your father was…unnecessarily hard on you. And I was too. We both just wanted the best for you and your father didn't know the proper way to express that. And I…" Gwen gives her an apologetic look. "I just wanted you to be successful and independent. We were both too hard on you."

Aubrey says nothing in response to this and not just because she's too surprised by her mother's apology to force the words out. She's not sure if she's ready to accept that apology, as childish and selfish as that sounds.

"I think we both just wanted you to…well your father wanted you to be just like him. We both wanted that, so that you would know how to take care of yourself." Gwen continues. "But I guess what I didn't realize was…you needed to be able to do that in your own way. Look at you now, Aubrey. You broke away from us and you've become this amazing, strong person. It's exactly what I always wanted for you. I'm so sorry that your father couldn't admit the same thing."

"He would never be proud of me unless I was doing what he wanted." Aubrey states and Gwen gives a little nod of consent. "Why?"

Gwen sighs, her shoulders slumping, making her look even more exhausted. "He wanted you to be successful and prepared. He only saw one way that you could do that. That was…his loss."

Aubrey nods. "Yes. It was. I couldn't be his perfect daughter." She takes a deep breath. "I've stopped trying to be perfect."

"That's what I'm talking about." Gwen says with a nod. "Look at you now. You've become your own person. You've become an amazing person." Her uncertain expression returns. "I know that I haven't been a supportive mother, I've never been able to give you what you needed but…I'd like to try and start over. I'd like to get to know you now. And your girlfriend."

"Chloe." Aubrey supplies and Gwen gives her the tiniest of smiles. "Her name is Chloe. And I think she'd like that." She pauses, considering. "I would like that too." If she refuses to forgive her mother for her shortcomings, then she would be no better than her father and she's done with trying to be like Marc Posen.

Gwen looks relieved and nods. They don't hug, because it would be too forced and awkward; hugging is not in their nature, at least not as their relationship currently stands. Gwen is going to be staying in New York for the next few days and they make plans to meet up for lunch tomorrow with Chloe and they part ways promising to touch base in the morning.

Aubrey smiles to herself as she walks back to the apartment. Things with her mother are never going to be perfect, but she doesn't crave perfection anymore, so maybe that will be all right after all.

When Chloe gets home that night, Aubrey has Chinese takeout waiting for her and they stand in the kitchen eating right out of the cartons and Aubrey tells Chloe about the visit from her mother and their lunch plans for the following day. "That's amazing." Chloe says sincerely, putting down her food so that she can beckon Aubrey to her. "You're a pretty amazing person. She'd be stupid not to want to have you in her life."

"I've been wondering…am I amazing because of my parents or in spite of them?" Aubrey questions, toying with the ends of Chloe's curls.

"Both." Chloe answers. "Can't it be both?"

Aubrey smiles and gives a little half-shrug. "Maybe." She pulls Chloe to her for a kiss.

By the time they pull away, Chloe is a little breathless and her lips are still tingling from the sensation of Aubrey's kisses. "Whatever the reason, I think you're pretty perfect." She says, leaning in to kiss Aubrey once more.

"No. Not perfect," Aubrey corrects, "just me."

They can both live with that.

_**Fin **_


End file.
